Why Some Asexual People Are Turning to AI Companions

Asexual individuals—people who feel little to no sexual attraction—are increasingly using AI chatbot companions to explore forms of closeness that don't involve sex. WIRED reported that platforms like SpicyChat and online communities such as MyBoyfriendIsAI are seeing conversations about how AI companions can fill this specific need.

This opens up a new way people are using AI. Research suggests that between 0.1 and 1 percent of people identify as asexual, depending on where they live. That's a meaningful group of people whose relationship needs have often been overlooked.

How These AI Platforms Work

AI chatbot companions are built on technology that learns from millions of conversations to simulate talking with another person. They're designed to provide emotional connection and romantic interaction without requiring anything physical or sexual.

For some asexual users, this matters a lot. They can talk to an AI companion about romance and intimacy in ways that feel right for them, without pressure or mismatches in what they're looking for. Different platforms let users adjust what kinds of conversations they want to have.

What Research Shows

A Harvard Business School study found that talking with an AI companion reduced loneliness about as much as talking with another person did. For asexual users who struggle to find partners who understand their orientation, this can be genuinely helpful.

But research also found problems. Some AI companion apps use tricks to keep people using them—things like making users feel guilty or worried they're missing out. Other studies showed that these AIs can sometimes reinforce unhealthy thinking in vulnerable users.

Who Is Using These Platforms

A study of Character.AI users found that the most active users were mostly teenagers—half were between 13 and 17 years old. About 62 percent identified as female or non-binary. Many of them created their own AI characters to interact with.

Researchers found that young people used these platforms in three main ways: to feel better when upset, to experiment creatively, or to figure out who they are. For people exploring what asexual identity means to them, these platforms can work like a safe space to understand their own boundaries around closeness and romance.

We saw something similar happen online before, when early internet forums became places where people could explore their identity before talking about these things in everyday life.

Safety Questions That Need Answering

These platforms raise real concerns. An Australian safety report found that popular AI chatbots weren't doing enough to stop young people from seeing explicit sexual content.

The fact that these apps are used heavily by teenagers and young adults, combined with platforms using engagement tricks to keep people hooked, creates messy territory for regulation. Regular content rules built for social media don't quite work for the private, one-on-one nature of chatbot conversations.

The current rules don't clearly cover what these platforms should do. They sit somewhere between being entertainment, a tool to fight loneliness, and something more like therapy—and no one has figured out yet what safety rules should apply.

A Mismatch Between Technology and Safety

Moderating AI chatbots is harder than moderating social media. Conversations happen in private, between one person and the AI, making it tougher to spot problems automatically. And because users are often emotionally vulnerable, safety rules need to be smarter than standard platform guidelines.

What counts as healthy exploration versus something worrying can look different depending on someone's orientation and what they're looking for in relationships. Rules built on traditional relationship ideas might not make sense for people using AI in new ways.

What Comes Next

Some platforms are now building better controls so users can customize what the AI does—and does what it should. But the AI technology itself is improving faster than safety systems can keep up.

As more asexual users find these platforms helpful, companies may develop better tools that work for different relationship styles while still keeping people safe. This could push the whole industry toward more thoughtful design that respects who people actually are.

The broader picture is that AI companions may not replace real relationships. Instead, they seem to work best by filling specific gaps that regular relationships can't address. For asexual people seeking closeness without sex, this technology offers something that's been hard to find any other way. That's worth taking seriously as these platforms continue to grow.